"... an 8 day blow job? Why that would be a Hanukkah Lewinsky."
                                   -- William Jefferson Clinton, Prez
_______________ http://www.cultdeadcow.com/cDc_files/ ____________________
  _   _
 [ x x ] cDc Communications
  \   /  Global Dominatrix Updata #27
  (' ')  December 23, 1998
                                  - * -
Well, it's Christmas. And we've made a list of who's been naughty and
who's been nice. And guess who's gettin' a large piece of coal shoved up
his ass? You're so smart. Bill -- that would be the other Bill with the
other big legal problems -- just got five thousand copies of Back Orifice
sent special delivery to his new stomping grounds -- the People's
Republic of China.  Have a happy, jackass. Oh, and if you think Microsoft
had problems trying to figure out how to deal with Back Orifice, wait till
they see BO2K in the New Year. Just the kinda program that'll get'em in
solid with their new partners in Beijing. 
We're gettin more press than than a bucket of grapes in Simi Valley. 
Being squeezed for the full story on hacktivism is just part of our
burden.  Next we're gonna have to worry about merchandising the movement.
But until we figure out our branding strategy, you'll have to be content
with newspaper accounts of how the Cow is makin' the Commies bow. Look
for 'em from your favorite newsie soon. Sort of weird, though. Havin'
people think that we're on the do-good tip. But even we have our
weaknesses. Will that be an XL? 
Date: Sun, 25 Oct 1998
From: Brandy Alexandre
Subject: (no subject)
Glory be to the dead cow on high!  Luke Ford says you guys hacked his
web site and deleted files.  I am your slave if you should *happen* to
repeatedly attack his real names list.  He does not post this
information as any journalistic endeavor, he does it to harass and
punish.  He admits it!  There is no good reason for providing a porn
star's real name.  It can only cause harm.  
What may I do in return, master?
Brandy Alexandre
It's official, we ain't the Hardy Boys. Now the CULT OF THE DEAD COW has
an official pokes-model. Brandy Alexandre, adult entertainer and cum
shot queen, has graciously consented to be our official liaison to the
wonderful world of porn. As yet her assignments are to be negotiated,
but we expect that she'll have a role representing our interests to folks
like Larry Flynt and Madeleine Albright, and whoever else we can think of.
Maybe the Pope.  Send her fan mail, we'll pass it along.
361: "Chinese Checkers" by Oxblood Ruffin. The game's afoot and our
Minister of Foreign Affairs is taking aim at everyone. Pols, predators
and programmers beware. If you stand in the way of Human Rights in China,
you'll end up on the receiving end of some open sorcery. 
362: "The Universal Declaration of Human Rights" by John Humphrey with
Rene Cassin. The only document you'll even need to beat up dictators all
over the World. Oh yeah, we know Cassin is credited with writing the doc.
But the whole thing was drafted by Humphrey so it's time he got credit.
363: "The Rocket Car" by CARINTHECLIFF.  Is this an atomic koan
or the deconstruction of a memetic fallacy? You'll see the
infobahn through NASCAR colored glasses after you work this one out. Or
you won't. 
364: "Electronic Masturbation FAQ" by Erik the Rude. Things have never been the
same since Benjamin Franklin tied a key his kite. Now in the safety of
your own home you can recreate some of the magic that first inspired
Tesla to go with the flow.
365: "What is cDc?" by Caliban Tiresias Darklock. He's stuck
with us, like a mustard plaster on cataracts. Through a series of
Socratic dialogues, shrugs and steak seminars, our worthy teacher breaks
down the science, and stays stuck.
                  File submissions: omega@cultdeadcow.com
                                  - * -
Thanks to the following items of influence this time around:
BOOK: _East and West_ by Chris Patten; _Fermata_ by Nicholson Baker
PRINT: I-D, Giant Robot, Harpers
PRODUCERS: Talvin Singh, Bally Sagoo, Bill Laswell 
SINGER: Shirley Caesar
MACHINERY: i386 running Linux
CONCEPT: openKulture
SITE: http://www.hrichina.org/
* Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Unless you're dealing
with some anime wanks. Cult of the Dead Cheerleader. Really!
* And there was this email from a drunken Russian who thinks that we're
in the business of propping up the ruble. In your hat, Boris.
Dear master !!!  I am writing from Russia. Recently I have seen by TV
the programme called " I am the bodyguarden " where I was advised that
there is existing some internet site which explains how to stole
somebody's internet money . Then, there was a reference on your site.
Pls advise what namely I have to download from your programme to get
my idea work. 
I appreciate your help very much in advance.
I am not jocking !  I really want to have that information.
* Whoever perpetrated the October 28th attack on rootshell.com featured
cDc in its shout-outs:
CDC - Cult 0f the Dum asCii - mUdg3 r1t3z w4r3z 4nd th3 r3zt 0f uZ w3rk
0n "h0w t0 bl0w Up th3 t01l3t p4rt ][ - app34r1ng 0n g3r4ld0."
_______________________________/- x X x -\_______________________________
Fools better recognize: CULT OF THE DEAD COW is a gift to the women of
this world and the trademark of cDc Communications.  Established in
1984, the cDc is the largest and oldest krewe in telecom, inventor of
the e-zine and stool loosener to sysadmins everywhere.  Each and every
issue is produced on an Apple II for genuine effect. Yo, bee-atch! Find
the flavor at these fine locations:
World Wide Web: http://www.cultdeadcow.com
        Usenet: alt.fan.cult-dead-cow
           BBS: 806/794-4362  Entry:KILL
Any questions, cupcake?
The Deth Vegetable
Minister of Propoganda
                     "cDc. It's alla'bout style, jackass."
Copyright (c)1998 The Baudfather, A Dwarf Named Warren & cDc Communications