....:::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::::::....
..::'''' ' ` ````::..
.::' .__ __ `::.
.:: ____ __ __| |_/ |_ ____ ____ ______ ::.
.:: _/ ___\| | \ |\ __\/ __ \_/ __ \/ ___/ ::.
.:. \ \___| | / |_| | \ ___/\ ___/\___ \ .:.
:: \___ >____/|____/__| \___ >\___ >___ > ::
.. \/ \/ \/ \/ ..
The hardy followers of our mystic path have strong backs, quick minds,
and loyal hearts. Joining our armed struggle is not to be taken
lightly. They have sworn a blood oath to live by the tenets and protect
the secrets of our ancient Gnostic cabal, as they progress into 4th
dimensional beings of pure light. The only punishment for failure is to
be burned alive! Those who would cross the cloven-hoofed path of Hathor
should fear for their very souls, as retribution is surely swift when
She manifests as the awesome power of DemonSeed Elite!
What follows are short biographical sketches of publicly-known
initiates to CULT OF THE DEAD COW. Their other names cannot be made
public, as speaking them would manifest them into the material plane...
hungry.
_ _ _ _
((___)) ((___))
[ x x ] _ _/ cDc GRAND IMPERIAL DYNASTY \_ _ [ x x ]
\ / _ _ MCMLXXXIV A.D. _ _ \ /
(' ') \ VOLANDO, REPTILIA SPERNO / (' ')
(U) (U)
Grandmaster Ratte' | member since 1984 | cDc Founder and 66th degree
initiate
Immaculately conceived, G. Ratte' was born of the Merovingian
bloodline and thus rules by Divine Right. He owns two pairs of
leather pants, and the 'G' is for 'gnarly, gnot gnice.'
Franken Gibe | member since 1986 | cDc co-founder and byproduct of a
1940s "super soldier" project
Gibe authored the U.S. Declaration of Independence and discovered
the continent of Antarctica.
G.A. Ellsworth | member since July 1988 | Cardinal of the Eastern
March
Obscure Images | member since June 1989 | Director of Insurgence
Obscure Images was found as a feral child on a patch of permafrost
tundra, alone save for his tulpa. He was brought to civilization
and left to learn about life in an artists' colony deep in the
middle west of the United States. Upon learning to speak, he
decried the utility of representation in artwork. In time he was
encouraged to find somewhere else to live. He continues to the
present day.
White Knight | member since December 1990
185 lbs of twisted steel and sex appeal. He is the difference
between good and evil, right and wrong. Sybians want to be him,
Jaime Sommers wants to be with him.
The Deth Vegetable | member since December 1990 | Minister of
Propaganda
If everything is to be believed, he has alternately been a Special
Forces Commando, Mexican wrestler, comicbook villain, bodyguard to
Mr. T, designer drug manufacturer, electronics wizard, and used
tire recycler.
Omega | member since February 1992 | originator of "hacktivism"
Very mysterious!
Count Zero | member since February 1992 | Surgeon General of the cDc
Count Zero is a man of science. Abandoning a promising career as a
neurologist and cabaret dancer, he joined the cDc as their official
Surgeon General where he performs surgical bio-enhancements on all
members to keep them operating at peak performance during space
battles and onstage performances. He is a hacker of the human brain
and a connoisseur of fine Bordeaux and crunchy breakfast cereals.
Ultimately scorned by the medical establishment for his radical
ideas and flashy jewelry, he operates out of a hidden medical
laboratory beneath the ice cap in Antarctica. When fighting crime,
he outfits himself in a black jumpsuit augmented with
bio-mechanical weapons and surgically attached robotic homunculi.
Turn-ons include long walks in the park and sunsets. Zero fights
the good fight, preparing for the future showdown against the evil
robots for the fate of mankind.
Reid Fleming | member since November 1992 | Powerpuff Girl #4
An Olympic bronze medalist in synchronized bowling, Reid once beat
David Lynch in arm wrestling, resulting in his scenes being cut
from _Twin Peaks_.
Mudge | member since February 1996 | cDc Hacker Laureate
Mudge was separated from his parents on a camping trip as a toddler.
Lost and alone in the wilds of New Mexico, he was found by a female
coyote and raised as her own pup. For six years he lived on
berries, jackrabbits, and the occasional stolen chicken which he
hunted with his canine companions. At the age of ten, a married
couple (both physicists employed at the Atomic Energy Commission's
laboratories in Los Alamos) discovered his inhuman plight and
adopted him. It was under their strict home schooling that he
discovered the world of computers... and military networks. Today
he is one of the world's top hackers and can still do a piercing
coyote howl.
Oxblood Ruffin | member since April 1996 | cDc's Foreign Minister
OXblood has roots as a farm boy in Canada. Bored with plowing, he
soon found his role in the air as a hot-shot cropduster pilot. His
passion for excitement led him to seek an RCAF assignment, but his
unfortunate clubfoot held him back. Undeterred, he found employment
flying guns and refugees in the skies over war-torn Laos and
Cambodia until 1975. Returning to his native Regina, he discovered
the battlefield of politics to his liking and began a string of
unsuccessful bids for office. He has since given up his own
political aspirations for the time being but serves as a speech
writer for several major Canadian political figures.
Tweety Fish | member since May 1996 | Superhero, ninja, rockstar...
psychophysician? He's got it all.
Krass Katt | member since June 1996 | Pastor of Muppets, she's pulling
your strings
Krass Katt's image does not show up on film. Krass Katt always is,
and always has been. Krass Katt caused the Hindenburg disaster with
the careless use of her crack pipe.
Sir Dystic | member since May 1997 | Don't be a statistic, bow down
before Sir Dystic!
He is rumored to be the love child of Seymour Cray and an unknown
showgirl. We found him living in a dumpster with a Palm Pilot, a
case of Astroglide and his latest text file.
FreqOut | member since September 1997 | Purplemilk, BIATCH!
DilDog | member since August 1998 | Chief Principal Senior Lead Director
of Definitely Not Batman
Known as "DilfDog" by his many admirers, he's a password crackin',
kernel poppin, vigilante with a keyboard. He goes on wild adventures
with his sidekick BattleCat, Wesley Willis. They're a great
slapstick comedy team. Women want him, fish fear him, mermaids both
want and fear him.
xxxclusive | member since June 1999 | King of the Wild Frontier
xxxclusive was the last man standing at the Alamo. He also killt
him a baar when he was only three.
Hella Kitty | member since July 2002 | The Unstoppable Girlie Mafia!!
HK is small, but fierce. Her years of training in special forces
units the world over and her love for all things kawaii, make her
equally likely to take down a government and to take in a rescue
puppy. She's also standing behind you RIGHT NOW!
Javaman | member since July 2004 | Now, with more sodium!
Javaman likes long walks on the beach and engaging in romantic
candlelight dinners with various monomaniacal despots extracted
from the course of history, brought to life by neurotransmitter
imbalances.
Mixter | member since February 2006
Lord Digital | member since February 2006
JCRAN | member since August 2011
JCRAN has penguin DNA and invented peanut butter powder, but had
his invention stolen by J.C. Bell.
Medus4 | member since October 2020 | Thot Leader, Sinfluencer
Are you mad at me? Any thoughts on dinner? Have you seen my
glasses anywhere? They were just here, I swear!
Jun34u | member since August 2021
Lodri | member since August 2023 | Undefeated heavyweight champ
giftschrank proprietor, planner of prison breaks, ALL.THE.GNAR
BiaSciLab | member since August 2025
I was a girl in the village doing alright,
Then I became a hacker overnight,
Now I gotta figure out how to break in right,
So many mainframes to see,
Up in the blockchain with my cDc family,
At a con thats just for those like me,
A whole enchanted web thats waiting for me,
I'm so excited to be BiaSciLab the First!
netw1z | member since July 2026 | MoD/cDc/8lgm
This low down dirty mf is a Bike messenger and Hacker. Broke into
more systems than you can shake a stick at but makes time to drink
orange wine with his pinky up with frenz! If you lucky he might
let you ride in his ai/linux powered vehicles. Runs some
underground mysterious shit. If you can find it, let us know cuz
we wanna go.
CULT OF THE DEAD COW Alumni
xXx / RULE BOVINIA \ xXx
.. ____ ____ ..
.. __| |__ __| |__ ..
:: .\_\__ __/_/___________\_\__ ___/_ ::
____ ____ | | | ____ \| \_ \.____ _____ ..
_/ __\__ \. __| | : | / |\ : : | |/ __/ ____
\ ./ _/ | / | | / |_\__. | : _) ./ _
\ | : | / | | / _/ | \\ \ | |
\ | | / | |/ /| | | \ \ | |
\ \| . |/ /| | .________/ | | | . | . \| |
\_________|________/ | |_ |b5!ACiD |___| | |____| |\_________|
.. - ---------------|_____/ |-------------------| :----|_____/ --- - ..
.. _____ |____| : _____ ..
:: \_ \. _____ _______ . \_ \. ::
.. ______| |/ __/ _______\__ \ _____| | ..
:: _( ___ : _) ./ _/ ___. ___ | ____ ::
:: \ \ | \ | : \ | \ | || / ::
:: \ \ | \ | \ | \ | || _/ ::
:: \_ \| . \| . \| . \| ||_) ::
:: (_________|\_________|\__________|\_________| ::
.. . . ..
:: : : ::
:: _____ _ ________________ ______ ::
:: _/ _/ _____ ____ \_ \../ _/ ::
:: __\ \ ./ _/ | / : || | __ __ ::
:: _ _\\_\\ \ | : | / || |/ //_//_ _ ::
::. (_\\ \ | | / . /\ //_) .::
.:. \ \| . |/ /| /\ _/ .:.
::. \_________|_________/ |___ / \ ___) .::
::. . \/ \/ . .::
`::. | | .::'
`:::... | | ...:::'
` ```:::::.. . | . .::::::::::::::::::::. . | . ..:::::''' '
`. ``` | :::::::::::::::::::::: | ''' .'
`-._ | . :::::::::::::::::::::: . | _.-'
```---...___ _|_ . :::::::::::::::::::::: . _|_ ___...---'''
: : :::::::::::::::::::::: : :
: :::::::::::::::::::::: :
. . .......: :::::::::::::::::::::: :.. . .. . .
................::::::::::::::::::::::................
:::'''''':'::'::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
:: :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
:: :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
::':::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::'::
::.:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::.::
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ::
::::::::::::::::::::.:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ::
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::.:::::'::':'''''''.::
`::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::'
. . ........ :::.::::::::::::::.::: ........ . .
: ::: :::::::::::::: ::: :
: ::: .............. ::: :
. : ::: :::::::::::::: ::: :
. . ::: .............. ::: . .
: ::: ::: .
: | . ::: ::: . | :
___| | .::' . .......... . `::. | |___
________\ __| .:::' `:::. |__ /________
________\ _______ \ ..:::' `:::.. / _______ /________
\ _______ \ \ \ ::: ::: / / / _______ /
__ \ \ \ \ \ ::: ::: / / / / / __
\ \ \ \ \ \ ::: ::: / / / / / /
\ \ \ \ \ \ ::: ::: / / / / / /
\ \ \ \ \ \ ::: ::: / / / / / /
\ \ \ \ \ \ ::: ::: / / / / / /
\ \ \ \ \ \ \ ::: ::: / / / / / / /
\ \ \ \ \ \ \ ::: ::: / / / / / / /
\_____\ \ \ \ \ \ ::: ::: / / / / / /_____/
\ \ \ \ \ ::: ::: / / / / /
\ \ \ \ \ ::: ::: / / / / /
\______\ \ \ \ ::: ::: / / / /______/
\ \ \ ::: ::: / / /
\ \ \ :::::: / / /
\______\ \ :::: / /______/
\ :: /
\ /
\ /
\/